Lets talk about love

Love is around the corner once again. Cometh February and cometh the hour. I have had endless and some really prosaic discussions and even read reams of articles on why we should or should not celebrate Valentine’s day. People have scorned off at the idea of accommodating something that’s out and out western into our long cherished cultural idiosyncrasies that is so typically branded as Indian. One thing I have observed (strangely though !) that each time we loose our forte in a debate we never loose time in falling back to the time tested law of harping on the finesse of Indian culture. What is Indian culture per se for that matter ? We can have a separate debate someday on Indian culture and its value laden ambiguities which nobody really can fathom out. At least I could not.

However, not divulging from the topic on Valentine’s Day, I have always wondered what is the harm in celebrating it? People have come out with the logic that you can’t have one specially sanctioned day for love. They argue (and often boisterously!), does it mean that you don’t love the remaining 364 days? I humbly get into the tenacity to question that logic. We do celebrate Mother’s day, Father’s day or for that matter Independence day. My inbox gets flooded with messages on “Bharat mata ki Jai” and “Jai Hind” on Independence day. So does it mean that you remember and pay your obeisance to your country only on 15th August and the rest of the days you don’t even give a damn about her? Or is 15th August the only day ordained by law, where you have the license to be zealously patriotic? It is not like that. It is just that on that special one day, you show how “specially important” is your motherland to you ? That, you take time off atleast, when you turn on your TV early in the morning, to hear the PM speak from the ramparts of the Red Fort, to say that you remember its 15th August, even though you forget which year of independence you were celebrating ! We still love to buy a small replica of our national flag on the eve of 15th August, which the street children sell at the traffic signals and still love to wave it like a kid, even though we have long crossed that age when we were kids and ran from one room to another with that flag held in our little palms. So what is the harm on 14th Feb to show that special someone that you love them, may be a bit more than yesterday ? And by no stretch of imagination I hereby say that Valentine’s Day is just a day of showing love to your girl friend/boy friend. Love and patriotism are nothing but emotions. And when it comes to emotions why tuck its leash ?

Love is not easy to define. It is even harder to express. But it is perhaps most necessary to unmoor it. If you cannot define it, cannot express it in words, you should figure a way out to show that you care. For every relationship it is very important.

I have very seldom seen someone buying those silly hearts made of those red roses, but honestly speaking there is no escape or immunity from the expectations that is generated on Valentine’s Day. This is what a Sunday magazine wrote about the significance of 14th Feb:

“The news is about Valentine’s Day protests, the food section is about aphrodisiacs, the travel section about romantic getaways, the books section about love and poetry. You have, absorbed so many words and images about love, in so many direct and oblique ways, that you are pushed to pay some thought to your own love life.”

In school, once I read a piece by William Somerset Maugham, titled ‘On my Seventieth Birthday’. The line that I still remember the most, from that piece is- “Old age hath its compensations.” What now I understand the most from that line is that every age has its own compensations. But every age has its own meaning too. There was a time when the tinkering of the bell in the hot summer afternoon by the local kulfi wala meant a straight jump out of your afternoon sleep into the sultry street. There was a time when just a look at your crush would make your heart jump a beat. There would also be a time when Valentine’s day would loose its sheen, when you would just not find anyone to wish you happy Valentine’s day and give you a warm hug. May be its then you would understand how special it feels to be loved on the day when the whole world revels in love. It has always been that way. We never care about the things we have. It is only when you are left to moan about a thing you don’t have, that you realize how important it was to you.

I know you cannot have a specific day for love. But you can always have a perfect alibi to do that. Archies gives you that leeway. Don't buy that extra expensive soft teddy from the nearby Archies gallery. Shun that on 14th Feb ! Atleast can buy a rose from the roadside flower vendor. That would be much ‘Indianized’ way to profess love. There is no denying the fact that we all love to be made to feel special and that is true irrespective of the gender. This is not an article to show how hopelessly romantic I am trying to be. This is just an effort to tell that not every day you become the reason for somebody else’s smile (whoever that is). But when given a chance that you can be on one day, don’t miss the opportunity in trying to be stoic to score some brownie points and guffaw at the idea of how some people love to be emotional fools on this day. Mark my words- there is no joy as serene in this world than to be the reason for somebody’s smile.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY !