As I write, may be
thousands are protesting in Delhi today, braving the spine numbing cold. I have
been having thoughts, all sorts, about what the gang-rape incident means to the
average women in Delhi, who cannot afford to have a personal
car for her safety to travel. So the bus, auto and the metro seem to be for now
the only option, for thousands others like me.
Strangely enough, I was
in Munirka yesterday and even spotted that ill-fated bus stop from where about
two weeks ago, the now deceased 23 year old physiotherapy student who was
gang-raped, boarded the bus. I had all sorts of scary thoughts yesterday until
the time I was in Munirka.
I have been staying in
Delhi for the past six years. When I came here, I was cautioned by family and
friends about the perils of staying alone in Delhi. In my initial days I used
to stay in Vasant Vihar, a typical plush South Delhi area where streets are
mostly deserted, as private cars ply around. I can’t recall of a single evening
when I was not escorted back to my PG by my friends, fearing that travelling
alone might be a compromise to my safety. I was in Vasant Vihar for 2 years
before shifting base to JNU campus.
JNU campus can be
called an oasis amidst the sea of turbulence in the capital. Every time I enter
inside the main gate, I feel I have returned back safely and unharmed, for the
day. But one cannot get cocooned inside JNU all the time. One has professional,
cultural and social needs and obligations. Interestingly, in Delhi all three
needs are structured upon the issue of safety. If you have to travel, book a
flight that flies during the day time, take a train that reaches Delhi in the
morning (never after 5 PM!) If you want to hang out with your friends make sure
you are back (previously it used to be 8 PM), by (now I guess I myself prefer)
6 PM. And yes, we are talking about a modern, empowered woman who stays in the
capital of this country. She is not at all embarrassed to follow a stricture
that is tinged with medievalist tradition. Every day my freedom is infringed; my
rights are trampled by a fear; my parents’ peace of mind disturbed because they
want their daughter to have the best education.
Today I am scared, may
be I have not admitted it, but in some corner of my mind, fear lurks large. In
six years I have not felt so. I guess a majority of other women in Delhi is
constantly living under this scourge of fear, for no fault of theirs. The only
fault is - she might be pretty, or she might like to dress in stylish attires
or she might resist someone else’s unholy moves.
I have always loved
Delhi ever since I came. But I have never admired its breed of populace. At the
cost of sounding biased, I would say there is a general lack of respect for
women that pervades in majority of North Indian men’s psyche. It is that psyche
that makes rape a passable offence, because women in general were never and I
presume would never be treated at par.
One cannot have police
personnel posted at every signal. It is impossible in a country like India
having 1.3 billion people. Police cannot change the psyche of a man. Strong
laws? Who will make that law? We have ourselves elected MPs and MLAs who have
criminal antecedents, some of whom even have rape charges against them. May be what
we need today is a cultural renaissance. It is this culture of subjugation that
has shaped men’s psyche, which has captivated and destroyed my freedom. It is
this culture which does not let me be myself here. I can only hope my children
would have better and safe streets to walk on even at 1 AM at night. But that
too is a hope against hope.
This post appeared on 30 December 2012 in 'Ei Samay' ( The Times of India's Bengali newspaper circulated in Kolkata) as a translated version in Bangla. The Bangla version can be accessed here: